That I have a blog!
Hello. My sweet 5 readers. Maybe that is being generous.
I have missed blogging, but it hasn’t been at the forefront of my mind.
Given the 8 gazillion miles I have put on my car this year. Or the mountain of laundry that never seems to get smaller. The tears of frustration over multiplication tables. Me, not Katie. The clarinet sounds drifting from Sam’s room. The worry if Jack’s kicking foot will make it through the season. How to get that STANK out of his cleats. Serious things people.
I also needed some time. I guess having a child with cancer kinds puts your life into a tizzy. And kinda also takes you to places that are pretty deep. And sometimes a little dark. I am learning to say that it is ok. That I am allowed to get to those dark places, so that I will be sweetly carried through them. I have been learning a WHOLE lot about patience. An enormous amount about faith and a gigantic lesson about grace. While it doesn’t look pretty, or hasn’t been easy, it has been exactly where I need to be.
Sometimes I cannot fathom that 8 months ago our world was changed by a phone call. And I can’t believe it has been 8 months since diagnosis. Kinda like the BC/AD thing- we now go by the BC/AC timeline. My view of the world is different. My view of life is different. Strange that a 2 month journey literally changed me at the core of my being.
My faith is deeper. More intimate really. I never once questioned why. Or doubted God. Or doubted that He even existed. To the other extreme, everything we went through proved to be time and time again that He is alive and real. The only thing I had wished is that I could have gotten the diagnosis and not my sweet Katie.
In a funk would be a good way to describe how I have been feeling. Afraid, really, to trust the remission diagnosis. There is my pessimistic being coming out. I am thankful to know that this “funk” is around only for a short time. A short season of funkiness. Dude. That is such an AWESOME title of a song.
So, friends. Walk with me out of the dark. I know I can lift my eyes to the light. I know that the light is brighter then it was yesterday.