0.0

Things that I love- (or have been pondering.) (yes) (I am scatterbrained)

  • they make a sticker for cars that says 0.0  I Don’t Run.
  • I cried a little when I found that out.
  • truer words never written on a bumper sticker
  • well
  • unless it is “my honor student beat up your kid”
  • or an “I heart my dog’s head” one.
  • I have tried to like running
  • I don’t
  • I think it may stem from PE in 6th grade and we had to run the mile
  • and I cried
  • in front of the PE teacher.
  • and she said to take another lap.
  • and then I cried more.
  • the end.
  • My house smells like cinnamon and vanilla.
  • I am not baking.
  • I am fake baking.
  • to make my house smell like I am baking.
  • sheesh.
  • issues?
  • Maisy has been in attack the squirrels mode.
  • and the squirrels don’t give a rip.
  • they stand their ground and stare at her.
  • and she stares at them.
  • and they stare at her.
  • and I call “Maisy, Maisy come in sweetie”
  • and she ignores me
  • and then I buzz her and she comes in.
  • she then stares out the window at the squirrels
  • who are smoking cigarettes, drinking hi balls and laughing heartily in her direction
  • Oklahoma squirrels are partay animals
  • no joke
  • we found 2 scorpions in our house
  • now that is fun
  • they are mowing the hay meadow
  • there was a copperhead across the street
  • WHERE DO I LIVE
  • I have an obsession with Diet Cranberry Sierra Mist
  • they run out of it quickly
  • everywhere
  • and it makes me crabby
  • I don’t like knick knacks
  • they make me crabby
  • wow
  • a lot of things make me crabby
  • Not I love Lucy
  • that makes me happy
  • especially the episode “Ethel’s Home Town”
  • go watch it now
  • you are welcome
  • I can’t wait for Thanksgiving
  • I can’t wait for stuffing.
  • CRAP
  • I am not eating wheat or sugar.
  • maybe I will just make the veggies from the stuffing.
  • yeah.
  • that will be the same.
  • NOT
  • We are considering traveling far for Summer vacation
  • an absolute dream of mine
  • praying that airfare is low
  • I hate all the scary commercials on right now
  • so do my girls
  • speaking of my girls
  • Katie celebrated her birthday at school today
  • yep
  • her birthday is July 8th.
  • I don’t get it.
  • but I took cookies
  • and didn’t go to take photos.
  • am I a bad mom??
  • I mean really
  • her birthday is in July.
  • sheesh.  Mom guilt
  • Michael and I went to see Hall and Oates
  • they were awesome
  • still looked good too
  • I was worried they would look old
  • and come out smokin
  • and with walkers
  • but they rocked
  • it was in a casino
  • my hair smelled like smoke for days
  • and I had a hankerin to sit on a stool and push a button
  • I should be doing my laundry
  • I should be working out
  • I haven’t worked out much
  • I know, I know
  • I don’t like jello
  • or pudding much.
  • swiss cheese makes Michael’s mouth itch
  • should I cut my hair shorter?
  • or get bangs?
  • why are they called bangs?
  • where is all the fall scented soaps?
  • can I make cookie dough without flour or sugar
  • I get to go to NYC
  • I am speaking at my old church’s Tea in Dec.
  • you, who read my blog should be laughing.
  • I am snarky.  And scattered.
  • this should be fun!
  • and now
  • I am off to go running.
  • to the fridge to get some more cranberry splash.
  • I don’t think that will do damage to my sticker.
  • 0.0 for life.
  • Goodbye.
  • forever.
  • (or until they run out of soda)
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A friend gently reminded me.

That I have a blog!

Hello.  My sweet 5 readers.  Maybe that is being generous.

I have missed blogging, but it hasn’t been at the forefront of my mind.

Given the 8 gazillion miles I have put on my car this year.  Or the mountain of laundry that never seems to get smaller.  The tears of frustration over multiplication tables. Me, not Katie.  The clarinet sounds drifting from Sam’s room.  The worry if Jack’s kicking foot will make it through the season.  How to get that STANK out of his cleats.  Serious things people.

I also needed some time.  I guess having a child with cancer kinds puts your life into a tizzy.  And kinda also takes you to places that are pretty deep.  And sometimes a little dark.  I am learning to say that it is ok.  That I am allowed to get to those dark places, so that I will be sweetly carried through them.  I have been learning a WHOLE lot about patience.  An enormous amount about faith and a gigantic lesson about grace. While it doesn’t look pretty, or hasn’t been easy, it has been exactly where I need to be.

Sometimes I cannot fathom that 8 months ago our world was changed by a phone call.  And I can’t believe it has been 8 months since diagnosis. Kinda like the BC/AD thing- we now go by the BC/AC timeline.  My view of the world is different.  My view of life is different.  Strange that a 2 month journey literally changed me at the core of my being.

My faith is deeper.  More intimate really.  I never once questioned why.  Or doubted God.  Or doubted that He even existed.  To the other extreme, everything we went through proved to be time and time again that He is alive and real. The only thing I had wished is that I could have gotten the diagnosis and not my sweet Katie.

In a funk would be a good way to describe how I have been feeling.  Afraid, really, to trust the remission diagnosis.  There is my pessimistic being coming out. I am thankful to know that this “funk” is around only for a short time.  A short season of funkiness.  Dude.  That is such an AWESOME title of a song.

So, friends.  Walk with me out of the dark.  I know I can lift my eyes to the light.  I know that the light is brighter then it was yesterday.