This verse is challenging me right now.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
I have been a Christian since I was 18 years old. Really living out my faith from the time I was 22. I say that with a little hesitancy because I know that at many times I have really not been actively following hard after God.
Things go in cycles with me. I grow in fits and spurts. Well, ok spiritually speaking. Physically speaking I seem to be able to grow JUST fine.
Lately, I have been really challenged by the Lord. This verse has been screaming to me. Am I really producing this spiritual fruit? I can say honestly, NO. And I am so saddened by this. And really disappointed. And to be honest, mad at myself.
I am so humbled and thankful that the Lord has been gentle and loving with me. He has been faithful to me even when my faith wavered. Yes, my faith wavers. He has loved me, regardless of my state. He has been kind and merciful. And while I may be running ahead of Him or lagging behind Him dragging my heels in defiance, He has been faithful.
That being said, He has also been reminding me daily of my need for Him. He has been reminding me hourly of my need for Him. And He has been reminding me that He loves me more than anything, and desires my heart. Desires my time. Desires my best.
I haven’t been giving my best. Not to God. And not to my family. I have not been exhibiting those gifts of the Spirit that I know flow out of a close walk with the Lord. I know that I have been depending on myself and not on Him. I have been angry, and impatient. I have been unkind and unloving. I have been lacking in self control. And I have not been gentle.
Gentleness is something that I love. I crave to be that kind of woman and mom that is gentle and loving with her kids and her friends.
I am up for the challenge. I am up to working on my gentleness. With my speech, and with my actions. With my sweet husband and my four children. With my family. With my parents. With my friends. It is only one of the fruits of the spirits listed, but I know I need to start with this one.
Anyone want to join me on this quest? Not sure what it will look like. But I am joining with some other women.
I don’t think this will change my snarkiness.
It might take on a more gentle tone.