Why is weight such an issue?


I have talked about this before.  And yet, here I am again.  In a spot where I am totally frustrated by my weight.  I am so tired of this struggle.  I am about 10 pounds above where I feel healthy,  and where I don't mind how I look.  Isn't that insane?  I think about that and I just get a little crabby.  Ever since I was little, and had to shop in the husky department of sears, I have battled my weight.  Not that it has ever been a severe issue, but it was enough to make kids make comments.  It also was enough for someone in my family to offer me a dollar a pound to lose weight.  

Yes, a dollar a pound.  And I didn't do it.  Then I also got the gift of Nutri-System one Christmas morning.  That was a low point.  So, I decided this past year to really just concentrate on healthy eating, clearing out the crap.  And I did great.  Not only did I lose weight, but I felt amazing.  So what happened?  Well.  To be honest, China happened.  The stress of the trip and getting used to our new family dynamic has driven me to my favorite comfort source, food.  I am SUCH and emotional eater.  And I have eaten.  

So now, I am feeling that.  I am down about everything and I know that it stems from my emotional eating, and the fact that I feel out of control.  UGH.  Why is this such a struggle for me?  I wish I could be one of those women who could just eat one cookie and be ok with it.  For me, I need to not eat any cookies at all.  I just can't handle the temptaion.

I also know that my eating affects my health.  I know I suffer with gluten intolerance, yet what I have been craving is all those bad carbs.  And I have stomach issues and headaches again.  Not to mention itchy skin.  I know, TMI, but I have to write all this out so I can have people hold me accountable.  

I also see how my eating affects my moods.  I am a CRAB.  I am a jerk.  I am short tempered and just basically a poop.  And I can see that in my short temper with my kids, and I detest that.  I feel it in my relationship with Michael because I don't feel attractive.

So.  Back into the swing of healthy eating.  And exercising.  

Hold me to it friends.  Anyone want to jump on the bandwagon with me?

And just for future reference, Nutri-System as a gift?  Not a great idea.

It sticks with you.



12 thoughts on “Why is weight such an issue?

  1. Jenny,
    Please don’t beat yourself up over it!!! Really. We all resort to whatever our vices are when there’s stress or change in our world. You didn’t lose a fight. In fact, you know exactly what happened to get you here today. And you know what will change it. That’s a huge win. How many people DON’T know or won’t admit that they turn to food in times of stress? How many people know and decide they can’t do anything about it and keep eating? Hmmmm???
    Now, go chomp on some celery, take that precious girl for a walk through those beautiful fields and sing praises as only you can!!!! 🙂 I’ll go back to biting my nails — the instant I stop typing. See? Vices. We all have them.
    Love you!

  2. Okay – warm weather is coming – let’s start walking somewhere – lot’s of options around here. Will our little nugget ride in a stroller if we promise her she can play at the park afterwards – Even if we just commit to 2 days a week – it’s better than nothing !

  3. Don’t forget how much Gluten plays with emotions too- my son gets depressed and anxious when eating it… and always instantly craves it more and more.
    And yes, some people get stressed and lose weight, and some of us run to the fridge. And while we might wear our hearts on our sleves, er…um… our hips, at least we’re not doing soul-scaring things like drinking to excess, drugs etc. Forgive yourself.
    PS I don’t remember you as husky back then….? But then again I was “a little husky” so I wasn’t exactly one to judge.

  4. Dude. At least no one has patted your stomach lately, excited over your belly fat. Yeah. More than once. Really. Other women. Whatever. Kinda like Nutri-System for Christmas – DON’T DO IT!

  5. 1) I think you’re beautiful. Really.
    2) I know it doesn’t matter WHO tells you that they think you’re beautiful, when you feel “blah”, you just do.
    3) I am TOTALLY in the same 10lbs-make-all-the-difference place. Just this week I started Couch to 5K so that I would be motivated to get up & DO something. I love having a clear cut goal in front of me. I’m hoping it will also help keep me motivated in the eating department…or at least in the eat just ONE cookie department.
    You can do it, girl!!

  6. Hello! xoxoxo. I have no good ideas because I get just as depressed as you do if I am not feeling healthy and fit. My best game plan, though–if I feel an urge to emo eat, I take a walk around the block. Or maybe do crunches and planks for 5 minutes. The other totally helpful thing is to eat a huge bowl of salad at lunch. Seriously, as big as you want. With beans.

  7. First of all…you’re beautiful. I think you are and I am sure many, MANY other people think so too.
    Second, if you are sad (and I understand), have you tried Weight Watchers? I am doing it on-line now with my sister. She has lost 30+ pounds and I have lost 86 pounds. You can eat whatever you want and there are no special foods. You track your food and it tells you when to stop when you run out of points. That is the part that I needed the most.
    I will tell you though, if you are close to your goal weight, it gets harder. I still have 15-20 more pounds to go and it is getting harder.
    I tried Nutri-System before and HATED it. I hated the food and I was shaking for being so hungry.
    You decide what you want to do but if you decide to try WW, there are huge support groups on-line. I can be here for you too.
    God Bless

  8. Wow. I never knew this happened to you, too. You described my own struggle even better than I could have described it myself. It is a super hard struggle, but we know it is not an impossible one. And now I know I am not alone! Thank you for being so honest. I will jump on the bandwagon with you and get myself back to healthy eating…no more mini candy bars for me this week. Because just one is never enough…it always leads to at least four or more (I am not ready to admit just how many! I am not as brave as you!). 🙂 And it always leads to an uncomfortable and crabby me.
    I am sorry about the Nutri-System gift. That’s terrible.
    Take care. You are not alone!

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