I have talked about this before. And yet, here I am again. In a spot where I am totally frustrated by my weight. I am so tired of this struggle. I am about 10 pounds above where I feel healthy, and where I don't mind how I look. Isn't that insane? I think about that and I just get a little crabby. Ever since I was little, and had to shop in the husky department of sears, I have battled my weight. Not that it has ever been a severe issue, but it was enough to make kids make comments. It also was enough for someone in my family to offer me a dollar a pound to lose weight.
Yes, a dollar a pound. And I didn't do it. Then I also got the gift of Nutri-System one Christmas morning. That was a low point. So, I decided this past year to really just concentrate on healthy eating, clearing out the crap. And I did great. Not only did I lose weight, but I felt amazing. So what happened? Well. To be honest, China happened. The stress of the trip and getting used to our new family dynamic has driven me to my favorite comfort source, food. I am SUCH and emotional eater. And I have eaten.
So now, I am feeling that. I am down about everything and I know that it stems from my emotional eating, and the fact that I feel out of control. UGH. Why is this such a struggle for me? I wish I could be one of those women who could just eat one cookie and be ok with it. For me, I need to not eat any cookies at all. I just can't handle the temptaion.
I also know that my eating affects my health. I know I suffer with gluten intolerance, yet what I have been craving is all those bad carbs. And I have stomach issues and headaches again. Not to mention itchy skin. I know, TMI, but I have to write all this out so I can have people hold me accountable.
I also see how my eating affects my moods. I am a CRAB. I am a jerk. I am short tempered and just basically a poop. And I can see that in my short temper with my kids, and I detest that. I feel it in my relationship with Michael because I don't feel attractive.
So. Back into the swing of healthy eating. And exercising.
Hold me to it friends. Anyone want to jump on the bandwagon with me?
And just for future reference, Nutri-System as a gift? Not a great idea.
It sticks with you.