And so…

Since there is no new news to report, oh, except that Katie Mei is graduating Kindergarten tonight- oh my gravy (love those cowboys on The Amazing Race)- photos will be here soon.

Things that really have happened to me.  Or that I have done.  

You are welcome.

  • A sister of mine, who shall remain nameless, but she knows who she is, threw a frozen tub of butter at my head.
  • I ducked.
  • The tub scraped a section of wallpaper off our wall.
  • We put a potted tree in front of it.
  • I got kicked out of American History class in 11th grade.
  • I laughed during a documentary on JFK's assassination.
  • The newscaster said "and Mrs. Kennedy was heard to have said, oh, no."
  • just like that.
  • and boy did I laugh,
  • and boy did I get kicked out of class.
  • When I was in pre kindergarten I wanted to hold the class guinnea pig,
  • I did, and then it felt warm on my hands.  
  • I thought it peed on me.
  • So I left the piggie on the floor while we went out to play.
  • It ate 5 books.
  • And it hadn't peed.
  • I was scared of Mighty Milk- who came to visit my pre-school.
  • I still remember him.  
  • Who wouldn't be scared of a big milk carton with legs?
  • yeah.
  • My sister, who shall remain nameless, told me the Matterhorn at Disneyland ran slower at night so little kids could ride it.
  • I believed her.
  • When I was in my sisters wedding, I looked like a boy.
  • And people called my my father's son.
  • I cried for days.  
  • I one time had a Bay City Rollers/Pinky Tuskadero haircut.
  • I had a facination with Princess Diana.
  • And after my Bay City Rollers haircut, I got a Princess Di do.
  • Hence the fact that I looked like a boy.
  • I used to throw my vitamins behind the dresser in my closet.
  • One time I was imitating my Uncle sneezing and running at the same time, and I ran into a door. 
  • I got a huge huge lump on my head.
  • I had a friend named Twinkie in grade school.
  • I was best friends with a boy who used to direct me in scenes at recess.
  • He is now a really famous screen writer and director.
  • He had a series on TV.
  • He named a character after me.
  • She was a hussy.
  • Should I be insulted?
  • Or flattered?
  • Michael W. if you read this, please let me know.
  • I used to ride my bike to Pronto Market to get donuts.
  • And I ate them all on the way home.
  • I became and Aunt at 7.
  • no one believed me.
  • We used to put tape on our cats paws and make him walk on carpet.
  • We used to put peanut butter on a tape recorder microphone and make my dog lick it off.
  • Then we would listen to the tape,
  • and laugh.
  • My sister, who shall remain nameless, used to tie my feet together and make me walk up and down a step in my house.
  • I used to go to dog training with my dad just to get a coke from the machine.
  • I used to tape record TV shows so I could listen to them later.
  • Like Diff'rent Strokes
  • and Facts of Life.
  • My sister and I used to watch Love Boat and Fantasy Island every Saturday night.
  • I saw Grease 9 times in the theater.
  • I saw Xanadu 3 times.
  • I pretended I was Olivia Newton John for awhile.
  • Shut up.
  • I ate peanut butter and mayo sandwiches.
  • and loved them.
  • One time while taking a bath, I ate a Hostess Crumb Cake.
  • The kind with all those little cinnamon crumb thingys on the top
  • which fall off easily
  • a lot fell off in the tub
  • My sister thought I had pooped in the tub.
  • The end.

8 thoughts on “And so…

  1. Hey, it COULD be our other sister, so no fair pointing fingers. Besides, I would never do those things. Personally I think taking someone to the theater nine times to see Grease? Is way more abusive than frozen butter violence. Just sayin.

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