A Weighty Issue

Chubbies

Ever since I was little, I have had an issue with my weight.  Yes.  Since I was little.  It has ALWAYS been a struggle for me.  And though I detest that part of me, it still is.  I am totally unsure of the fact that there will be a day when I feel happy and satisfied with my weight.

I was chubby as a little girl.  I had to shop in the husky section at Sears.  I had these jeans with a tie up roller skate on the back pocket  And cords, with a mountain scene across my butt.  Now, tell me.  When you have to shop in the Husky section, is your best choice pants with a mountain scene across your tush?  I think perhaps not.  

There have been years that I have felt good.  I have been fit.  I have actually fit into jeans that didn't have an H on the back.  Or a mountain scene.  But those years are few and far between.

I have tried to figure out what my hang up is still about weight.  Growing up, we (my sisters and I) were often chastised about our weight.  Offered money to lose weight.  Treats were hidden.  Perhaps it was done in love, and in hopes that we would learn to eat properly.  Or perhaps it was done to have us fit into a certain image that was desired.  I think the latter may be the case.

Today, I am struggling.  Again.  With my weight.  I think I go through cycles.  And it is one of those low cycle days. Weeks. Months.  Year.  Sheesh.  

I am so blessed to have a sweet husband who thinks I am insane- and thinks I am beautiful and wonderful and sexy the way that I am.  ANY way that I am.  He always tells me so.  I love him for it.  But it is from my heart that things need to change.  

I need to change the dialog inside my head.  I need to be able to quiet that voice that tells me that I am fat. That I am never going to lose weight, or look good.  But that is easier said then done.  

My worth is not found in my looks.  My weight doesn't define who I am.

Then why do I put so much emphasis on it?

 

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7 thoughts on “A Weighty Issue

  1. From your photos, you look great! I was always just a little bit chubby as a kid, just enough to erode my confidence (maybe 10-15 pounds overweight). Now I am morbidly obese and I often wonder how I let myself get here. I have been making weight loss a priority this year and so far, I am down 28 pounds. Sadly, I have more than a hundred to go. I just opened my weight loss blog yesterday to the public. It’s been private for over a year. It’s pretty boring stuff for most, but it is a source of motivation for me personally, so that is why I write it. You are welcome to stop by if you like.

  2. Girl! I know the feeling! I hate the issue with weight! I have always struggled as well!:(
    I am so thankful for my husband who thinks I am beautiful and sexy too regardless of how I feel about myself! God is so good! 🙂
    I am doing a Bible study right now at my church called “Becoming a Woman of MOderation” by Dee Bristien. (i think that is how you spell her name) it is really good about weight loss. It is helping me!
    I think you are beautiful!! I am praying for you!!! Love you!

  3. Right now I am laughing so hard about the mountain scene jeans that I can’t possibly come up with anything appropriately sympathetic or motivating, other than be glad you didn’t have to wear Alison Carter’s hand-me-down, houndstooth-check, elastic-waisted, Florence Eismann pantsuit. With love from your also husky sister.

  4. Jenny, you are beautiful inside and out. Just make an effort to be healthy. That’s all that matters. Keep walking with your puppy. You’ll be surprised how the weight comes off. My sister walks about two miles with her dog every morning, and she lost 10 pounds in a few months once she started doing so and she’s kept it off for several years. 🙂

  5. Amen to that. We listen to too many lies about what makes us beautiful. Don’t forget that it is a gentle and quiet spirit that truly make us beautiful and attractive to our husbands and others! And, I can totally identify with you. My sister and I were a bit chubby as kids too. I remember our parents taking us to the “ground round” for dinner. They charged kids a penny for every pound they were. So, there in the lobby we’d have to get “weighed in” to determine the cost of our kids’ meals. I still have horrible memories of it!

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