Almost 5 years ago, we adopted this sweet little girl.
And she stole our hearts. Completely.
When we were sitting in the China Hotel in Guangzhou…looking at our sweet daughter sleeping in her crib, we spoke of adopting again. And we giggled. And said, well, if we do, it will have to be many years from now. When our kids are older. When we are older and our minds are starting to go. But if we ever do adopt again, we will adopt a little bit of an older child…and she or he will have a special need.
Life became full. Life became challenging. And lovely. I couldn't imagine life without Jack, Sammy or Katie Mei.
Fast forward to our family today. Jack and Sammy are older, as is our sweet baby Katie Mei. Everyone is in school. My life, is cushy. Busy, really but cushy. I wasn't looking to adopt again. Neither I think I can say with confidence was Michael. We had talked about it from time to time. We had prayed about it seriously a few years ago…but always got the feeling that it wasn't the right time.
I pray on a daily basis for waiting children all over the world- as well as here in the US, who need their forever families. Daily my heart yearns for these children to know the love and safety of a family. I would look at the sweet little faces. And I would pray.
Then this little one popped up on my computer screen. And my heart leaped. My breath caught in my throat. And I think I said "Oh". I didn't think that anyone had heard, but Michael did. He came to sit by me on our bed. And he looked at the sweet little face on my screen. And he said "Oh." He then got up and walked into our bathroom. I stared at that little face and I prayed for her. And wondered in my heart, Lord, is she our daughter? Michael called out to me "SO, you want to go back?" My heart flipped over.
"Why?" I asked him "Do you want to??" and he just shrugged and asked if we could get information about this little girl.
What? Say what? Really? Was I ready for this? I wasn't even thinking of adopting again. But that little face.
"Ok." We kinda smirked at each other and then giggled a little. We showed the kids her photo, and they all agreed wholeheartedly that we needed to find out more information about her. So I did.
We sent her information to two separate doctors, who both agreed she was healthy- but had malformations on her hands and feet. I contacted our agency, and sent them her information. We would have to have gotten permission to adopt, due to the fact that we had not even begun a home-study. So our agency was going to meet about it on Monday. Monday morning comes, and I check the list again. She was gone. Not on the list anymore. Though I was sad, my first and foremost thought was "Thank God she has a family". I was overjoyed that she would have a family.
I told Michael and the kids. Everyone, while glad little "Natalie" (her name on the list) had a family, was disappointed. And we all wanted to pray about adopting again. Then, Michael and I prayed together and we decided to fill out an application with our agency again.
So….we are in it. We are headed to China again. We have filled out a SN application, and we are feeling like we will be adopting a little girl about 3-5 years old with a limb difference, or perhaps club feet….we are open to many different needs.
I am in awe that God has blessed us with this gift of being parents. Jack, Sam and Katie are the sweetest gifts that I have ever known. I am unsure of what this road will look like. I know for certain that this is not the easy path. My life right now, even with a new puppy, is pretty easy. It would be very easy for me to sit back and really hang out in my skin. But as I get older, I am more and more convinced of the fact that God didn't call us to have an easy life. I don't know if we are doing the most comfortable thing, or the easiest thing….but I do know we are doing the right thing.
I am excited to see where this road takes us. I am excited to follow God down this path of the unknown. Unsure of many things….but completely sure of Him. Would you come with us on our journey to our fourth child?