I am tired friends! I have lots to tell you guys- lots to put into writing. And one more weekend in Eden. After that, life calms down a bit. Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I know I did! Can't wait to share photos and what has been up soon.

Advertisements

Finding our way through Eden

I know I have mentioned that Sammy and Katie Mei are in a show at the Poteet Theatre.  Opening night is the 20th- and we are in the trenches of nightly (and all day) rehearsals. Since Katie Mei is still young, either Michael or I have stayed at each practice.  And gotten to know the sweet cast of this amazing show.  Not to mention the director.  Who I LOVE.  Jay Prock is amazingly gifted, amazingly wonderful to the entire cast including the kids, humble – and a man who wants this show to touch the hearts of those who come see it.

Because Michael and I have been- we also have been able to help out in small ways, which is fun.  Even Jack has been helping.  But, I have been given way too much power.  Not only do I make sure all the props are set up…but I am running the fog machine.  DUDE.  So much fun.  Especially when the cast gives me the stink eye.  Sorry guys.  And then- Jay decided to give more responsibility to me.  I get to blow up the tree of knowledge.  I am not sure if you heard that.  BLOW IT UP!  ME!  With a button and everything.  Never mind that I totally messed up the timing of it the first time.  Never mind that right next to me is a fire extinguisher that I was told to keep one hand on.  AHHHH!!  Pyrotechnics.  How could they have given this job to me?  Oh gosh.  I hope I can do this one.

And how goes this….

Menu_diet_coke 

You may be wondering? 

It has been 8 days since I have had a Diet Coke.  8 days.  As I write that it kinda makes me giggle a bit.  I NEVER in a million years thought I would ever not drink Diet Coke.  But I am doing it!  

How do I feel?  Eh.  I feel ok.  I am not sure if I have gotten a touch of the flu from my boys- but I have been feeling kinda crummy the past few days.  The headaches are there- but not as intense or often as before.  It kinda hits me later in the afternoon now rather then first thing in the morning.  I don't feel the need to grab a soda first thing in the morning.  I now grab water.  Pretty much all I have been drinking is water.  Sometimes I will pour a fresca or a bubble water- but it is mainly water. I can't say I enjoy the water that much.  But it is growing on me.  And I do feel the desire to have water now. So that is a step forward.

This post feels rambling to me.  I guess I am tired.  We have been going strong for a week or so and I am missing the easy evenings of making dinner for my sweet family, playing games or going on a walk together.  Then bath time and bedtime- and then time with Michael.  I miss those.  I am such a homebody and I need those times together.  I know it will be back to normal soon. I know that we will sit around our dinner table listening to funny stories about school days.  I can't wait.

But, until then, we are walking through the garden of Eden.  

Life is an adventure.

And now, I am living it caffeine free.

Heaven help me.

Day 3

Hello,

My name is Jenny.  And I have not had a diet cokes in over 48 hours. Nary a one. Honestly, I have a really hard time believing that I really am doing this.  Considering it has been 25 years of drinking it.  

It is funny.  I have really been going through a lot of heart searching through this.  I never really considered my drinking Diet Coke to be a problem- or an addiction so to speak.  Yet, I couldn't go through a day without it.  I really had a hard time functioning in the morning with out one.  And then another.  And another.  I think Michael and I estimate that I was drinking at least 64 oz. of diet soda a day.  

I would look for opportunities to get one.  I would search out the best places to get the best diet coke.  I would make my family go to restaurants that served diet coke and would get crabby if all they had was pepsi.  I yearned for it, my body yelled for it.  I was really serving diet coke. 

At church, we have been going through a series on Idols.  And what is an Idol?  What becomes a god for us in our lives.  Challenging thoughts for sure.  I have had many times where money has become an idol for me.  I know that one well.  I have come around a lot on that though, and really felt my heart questioning God if there were any idols in my life at this point.

Proudly I was thinking…. "nope. I think I am alright at this moment"  But then, I started feeling not so great.  I felt sluggish and large and my stomach hurt a lot.  And I couldn't shake this weight that I have gained regardless of how hard I try….and I decided to go see my doc for a full physical and advice on weight loss.  That morning (which was Thursday), Michael hugged and kissed me before he left for work and looked at me and said- "will you do me a favor?  will you ask the doctor about diet coke?"  I sighed and looked at him. He smiled gently at me "I have never said anything to you about this – but I am worried.  I am really concerned that this is not good." I didn't put my normal wall up and take that as an attack on me.  I heard him.  With my heart.  "Ok.  I will ask"  and i meant it.

So, onto the doctor.  And the nurse drew my blood.  And then started talking about why I was there.  And then she said to me "you really need to consider cutting down on caffeine."  And then she gave me a CD that my doc made about healthy eating and his ideas about dieting.  And he too mentioned caffeine and sweeteners.  And that it may be hindering my weight loss as well as affecting my body in not great ways.

And really, I felt convicted.  I knew that God was speaking to my heart.  And I knew it was time to make a change in this area.  So with a prayer, I started down this road.

Since then, and I know it has only been a few days, I really realize that this is not only about my physical body.  It is also about my heart.  The light has been shed on the fact that I have been making diet coke an idol of sorts in my heart.  And I am so so ashamed.  I am in awe of the fact that something so small as soda could have become a forefront thought in my mind.  And I am even more in awe of the sweetness of God to help me with the process of detoxing off the diet coke.  I am in constant prayer that I will honor God through this process- and that this will not only allow my body to be the temple that God desires it to be, but my heart will no longer be holding onto something non eternal.

I know.  I know it seems like a stretch.  But really, it has been on my heart- and I am thankful that I have friends and family who love and support me.  Silly as it may seem, right?  I mean, a diet coke?  A can of soda.  But it represents more.  And I am in need of an entire heart detox.  I am thankful for a God big enough to see me through the little things.  

Day 3, friends.  : )  Didja ever think?

good morning

Anacin

good morning. Well, I woke up this morning.  That is a good thing. And I felt a dull headache, nothing too bad.  So usually, the first thing I do is grab a diet coke.  I have to be honest.  This was really hard for me.  I really really really wanted one.  I MEAN REALLY.  I actually started feeling angry about the fact that I would not have one.  This is by choice.  I really want to try and go without today.  I think my day yesterday went pretty well- and I thought maybe it would be ok without any today.

So, Katie Mei came up to me (they all know I am doing this) and said "Momma are you ok?"  and I told her I was missing my diet coke.  She smiled at me and said "maybe we should just throw them all away" and I smiled at my girly.  And then I asked if she could get me a bottle of water.  She lit up and ran to get me one.  I opened it.  MMMM.  Water.  Boy is that stuff good.  Can't believe what I was missing. 

So, I decided to stave off the big headache- and took some excedrin.  I then made pumpkin pancakes for my family- and grabbed a yogurt and downed my water.  The kids were watching Arthur and Sammy called to me "Mom- did you drink a diet coke?" and I triumphantly said "nope!" and raised my water.  The three kids cheered.  And Michael kissed my forehead.  And told me he loved me.  It made me feel strong and know that I have the best family behind me.  I have friends who are supporting me.  And though this may not hold a candle to a much worse addiction- it is still an addiction to me.  And it is tough.

I know without a doubt that I am doing the right thing for my body and my heart.  Just wish the withdrawls weren't so tough.

The time has come. *Update….**Another one….

If you know me- even in the smallest way, you know that I have one vice.  One habit that has been with me for years.  Years.  One I have always passed off as "hey, I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, I don't gamble…. it really is not all that bad."  Which for many people it may not be.  But I feel as though this vice has been becoming an issue in my life.  

Menu_diet_coke
It is time, my friends.  And I have to say, I am really apprehensive about giving this up.  But that apprehension is proving to me more that I really do need to give it up.  Diet Coke.  My sweet little bubbly friend.  I am unsure when my addiction started.  But really, it has gotten to the point that I need to give it up.  I have been wondering if perhaps this is what is holding me back from losing the 20 lbs I have gained. Odd. I thought that it would help if I am drinking something diet.  But, I really feel as though I may be hindering my weight loss and perhaps even causing other health issues.

So.  I am scared out of my mind.  I am so nervous about the side effect that come with giving up the caffeine.  I am going to go about it in a gradual way. The one thing I am not going to do is replace it.  The one thing I will allow a replacement for it is water.  Plain.  No crystal light tea or anything.  I figure that I may just allow that to replace the diet coke- which will just bring us back to square one again.

For now, the game plan is- I will allow myself 1 large soda a day- and then water.  And gradually I will wean myself off the one.  

Big question.  Can I do it?  

I know I can.  I know that this really is not a big issue in the big scheme of life.  But I am feeling in my heart it is a stumbling block – not only for my health, but emotionally and spiritually as well.  Silly.  A soda has become an obsession and a stumbling block.  And perhaps even an escape mechanism.  And how is that different from any other drug?  Hmmm.

I have to tell you I am excited about this challenge. But nervous.  Hopeful.  And perhaps going to feel a lot healthier.  

So, blogland friends…..I plan on journaling on here how it goes.  Pray for me. 

** Alright folks.  1:02 pm central standard time.  So far- 1 diet coke (can), water, water, water and excedrin at 12:00.  I feel alright.  So far.

*** It is now 5:34.  I have only still had the one can of diet coke.  Otherwise I have been drinking water- some with lemon, but straight water.  I did take excedrin, and I feel a tiny dull headache, but I am alright.  I really am so thankful.  Prayers work wonders- and folks, God is indeed good.  More tomorrow.  Maybe it will be a tougher day??

Anyone there? Anyone??

IMG_2715

Hello.  My name is Jenny.  I do have a blog.  I miss this space.  Time to reclaim it.

So.  I cannot believe that it is November.  NOVEMBER, people.  I already bought 1 Christmas gift.  For Katie Mei.  I cannot divulge what it is for fear that it will get whispered to her in her sleep. OK, I am gonna bullet things….

My friend, Jen Ludwig has an amazing Christmas CD that just came out!!!  Please go listen and buy it.  She is gifted beyond measure- and has an amazingly beautiful voice.  A voice I love harmonizing with. : )  Jen- awesome girly.  You can buy it on CD Baby.

Jen_hp_image2 

  • Jack is playing a mean game of soccer these days- I am in awe of how far that kid can punt a soccer ball.  He loves his team.  His newest desire is to play football next fall for his school.  Does anyone remember the Brady Bunch where Greg played football and cracked his rib? And then ended up taking pictures of his cheer leading girlfriend?  Remember how Carol was so against him playing because he would get hurt?  Yeah.  And then he cracked his rib.  Yeah.  I am Carol Brady.(just have a better haircut)
  • Michael is amazing.  Can I just say that a million times?  I am so over the moon in love with my husband, and it just keeps growing.  
  • Sammy and Katie are knee deep in Children of Eden. Slideshow
  • I knew nothing of this show before we started it. And every day, I love it more.  The show is going to be phenomenal.  The cast is so wonderful- and the director is awesome.  I am so very excited.  If you want to come see it- let me know.  
  • Katie is a porcupine in the show.
  • Sam is a turtle.
  • I will forgive him for being an evil turtle.
  • I am going a little crazy because we have not been able to have dinner at home in forever.  I know it is just a season- but I really have a hard time with not being at home- having dinner and tucking in for the night.  
  • Going out to dinner is not helping me make healthy choices all the time.
  • Oh well.  It is what it is.
  • Sammy told me the other day in the car that he wanted to go to China when he grows up and secretly tell people about Jesus.  God is alive in that boy.  I am honored to be able to love that boy.
  • Jack is getting so tall.  When did this happen.
  • Katie Mei is into doing her own hair.  God bless her- it looks better then I when I do it most times.  LOL- once again, the right child for the right family. 🙂
  • I miss date nights.
  • I really miss my sisters.  
  • I am SO excited that one of my sisters and family are coming out here for Thanksgiving.
  • I am So sad that my other sister can't.
  • Michael bought a bird feeder for outside my window.
  • Does that make me old?
  • We raked leaves for the first time ever- and the kids got to jump into the leaves.
  • None of them had a sucker.
  • I am really really glad that Tracey is of the Biggest Loser.
  • and I am done.