So. Last night, we were at our FLOCK (small group). Awesome fellowship, teaching, and sweet sweet worship. Not to mention some great food! I was bein' all single momish- Michael had to be away for some work things- and enjoying a few minutes laughing with friends. And the door flew open and about (and this is no exaggeration) about 7 kids ran in "Mrs. Markmiller- Jack caught a snake! Jack caught a snake!!" Uh. Ok? SO I go outside- and with a HUGE smile on his face he is walking toward me with a clear plastic cup, a paper plate and a black snake. With fangs. And I find out that the snake had been lured toward my sweet son by a piece of a cupcake he had in his MOUTH. What??? WHAT?
So they all crowd around Jack all 45 of the kids in our FLOCK, looking at this creature and patting Jack on his back. Then I hear shouts of glee and they run up- "we picked out a name for it! CUPCAKE!" Yeah. Because Jack had a cupcake in his mouth. And they all think we need to take it home. Yeah. Not so much. So some of the dad's helped Jack let it go in the woods. Not before the little sweet Cupcake sunk his fangs into Jack's finger. Thankfully, after examining the snake, we knew it was not poisonous. Sheesh.
We then head home. Kids showered all smelling yummy. Sleepy and ready for bed. I needed to take the trash out due to a purchase of one of those new fanlged Febreeze lantern looking things. They are supposed to smell good right? Not so right. I got home from FLOCK smelled it the minute I opened the door and got crabby. So into the trash it went. Then I had to throw something else away and had to smell it. I had to take the trash out right then. So, got on my trusty slippers and started out the back door. DO YOU KNOW WHAT WAS THERE? That's right. Candy gram frog. There he was. On my back doorstep. All ready to walk in- make himself a ham sandwich. And well, just looking at me. Staring really.
Have you ever had a frog stare at you? It is really not a nice experience. Then I screamed. Um, I mean shouted in joy to see my friend at my doorstep again. My snake hunter came to find out why his mom was shouting joyfully "AAAAAH, go away" I mean, uh "how good to see you kind sir, come in and let me make you a ham sandwich".
My son saved the day by taking the frog into his rightful home back in the lovely wet grass of our backyard. And in turn, I stopped crying and kissed my son.
And then I snuggled them all in bed. And went to sleep.
And had a nightmare.
Of a Giant Frog eating snake- doing a soft shoe routine to "The Girl from Ipanema"
I am truly disturbed.