I am facing a new phase of life. Shut up. I know I am almost in my fourth decade. But that is not what I am discussing.
My children, starting tomorrow will all be in school. ALL of them. The three children whom were at one time attached to these wide child bearing hips of mine, tethered to these long apron strings, are beginning the process of growing up. They have been all along, and I realize that. But I think the fact that my kids are all in school now, has made that fact hit home.
My mom went back to work when I was Jack's age. I just thought about that the other day when I was thinking about how alike Jack and I seem to be. It hit me that when I went to 6th grade, I too entered a new school- and not only that, but my mom went back to work. Huge changes.
I remember having to walk to school and walk home. I dreaded that walk home. I have always been a huge homebody- and I love being home. Even perhaps when being at home was not always the most peaceful place to be. I loved the idea of home. The coziness, the warmth. The sights and sounds. I loved it. Even if that home to me was not a reality but what I saw on TV, or what I wrote in spiral notebooks as stories.
Walking into a quiet, lonesome home made my heart hurt. In those lonely days at home, I made a resolve that I would be at home when my kids were as a grown up.
So, making a home when my kids were all underfoot, while difficult, was a joy. It was so fun to think up things to go do with the kids and then come back home to a cozy, clean (relatively) and warm place to have a nap and a snack. Then when Michael came home, I would love him up and together we would wade through the fun times of bath time and bed time. Then in blanket sleepers tuck them in after stories and kisses and cuddles. And then…. well. I will go no further in my sweet memories of evenings with my husband.
Now, I have days to myself. Then most nights we are home. We have a new routine and a new style of afternoon routines- and evening bed times. The one thing that has remained the same- is that I am creating the heart of our home. How that looks will be entirely different from the days of Thomas and Princesses. We are entered into nights of homework, playing outside and dinner with Dad. So my goal, is to make the time we have together be the best time that the kids have. I want our home to be the place they want to be, not because of a TV show or of a story, but because it is their reality.