The Tick Story

You all are cracking me up.  Michael actually said that I should put a different photo of me up, because people would thing something about my eye.  But, I could not actually put a photo up of what happened.  It is not *that* kind of blog.

Ok, onto our weekend.  And the tick story.

Saturday we had made a plan to go hiking.  Michael decided where to go and off we went.  Mike’s dad met us there and we had a grand old time.  It was beautiful, a bit chilly, but nice.  The hike was fun.  There were gorgeous sweeping views of the Malibu coastline, lots of spring wildflowers, lizards, rocks, climbing trees and horse poop galore.  There was also meadows of really long grass that made the perfect place for some fun games of hide and seek.  It was awesome.  Also, reminded me of the Little House on the Prairie opening scene.

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At the end of the hike as we were loading everyone in the car, I spot a tick on Pop’s jacket.  I flick it off.  It lands somewhere near me, but we searched all over and it wasn’t on me, so we left.  We met Mike’s folks for lunch.  While sipping on a nice ice cold diet coke, Mike told me to hold still.  He proceeded to flick the TICK off my shirt.  Phew.  Glad he found it.  OR DID HE?

Off to Nana and Pop’s house to play for a little bit.  Then we drove home.  Once home, the diet cokes I sipped on were making their presence known and I had to pee.  Into the bathroom, merrily I go.  I pull down my pants and sit.  Then I scream.  Well, folks, that TICK had friends.  2 of them as a matter of fact.  And these TICKS were a bit forward.  The went ahead and entered my underwear.  That is right.  2 live ticks, crawling around in my nether regions.  Now, I can totally understand (because as my sister Meg so aptly put, I am a wicked city woman) why these two creatures chose MY underwear.  BUT THEY WERE IN MY UNDERWEAR!!!!!

Screaming ensued.  I threw off every shred of clothes I had on, while yelling for Michael.  The kids are coming towards the bathroom, and I yelled to Mike that I had no clothes on, so he restrained the boys from coming to my rescue.  Now, in the midst of me wondering if any other creatures had crawled into my hoo ha, I was trying to shake the ticks into the toilet.  Well, my underwear also fell in.  SO now, I am naked, hyperventilating with my husband checking my body for more tick action- and those dang ticks are swimming gleefully in our toilet.  I can just hear them mocking me while they are doing the backstroke.

I hop in the shower to disinfect every inch of me and Michael, sweet Michael, fishes the panties from the toilet and disposes of them.  After a 150 degree bleach filled shower, I emerge.  Still itching, still obsessing about if ticks can crawl into places and lay eggs.  EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.   Mike had put my panties in a trash bag and put it by the back door while he checked everyone else for ticks.  Once I had dressed, I went out to do some cooking.  Mike was just walking in with me to take the trash out to the dumpster.  What did we see crawling on the bag top??? THE TICKS!  UGH UGH UGH.  Still alive.  STILL LIVING AFTER BEING IN THE TOILET. I was in awe.  Needless to say, the ticks most likely are alive and well in the dump.  : )

There you have it folks, my long winded, slightly embarrassing tick story.  Good times, good times.

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10 thoughts on “The Tick Story

  1. Ooh. Ick. Well, they usually just suck your blood as opposed to using you for an egg vessel, so there’s that. Now, did they attach themselves to you at any point? And if so, did you save one of them? Just so you can be sure of what kind of tics, you know? I will not say anything about how the bleach on your skin was probably way more awful for you then a tic, but, you know, it wasn’t my chonies that bugs were in, so. 😉

  2. Any post with the words nether regions and hoo ha are always blog worthy! Thanks for the laugh. It was much more disgusting to hear it the first time, but reading it is quite comical.

  3. Tick the season! I mean tis the season of ole ticks! I too had some nasty and I mean nasty ticks this weekend! Mine were in my bra!!!!! Thank God they hadn’t bitten yet for both our sakes!

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