I will share my thoughts.

I know.

Hold on to your pants.

• my house looks like it threw up.
• my laundry has not folded itself
• I told it to.
• Stupid laundry.
• I wish I could share with you that I have lost all my stress weight.
• But I haven’t.
• So I can’t.
• Pass the crackers.
• I have a slight obsession with my daughters bald head.
• I have a slight obsession with touching and rubbing said head.
• “slight” is subjective.
• all our kids will be at the same school next year
• all our kids are SO excited.
• me too.
• why are june bugs crawling all over?
• do they not consult the calendar?
• they don’t consult me
• I am scared.
• of the summer.
• and the pool.
• and bathing suits.
• and cellulite
• I love being outside
• I detest the smell of outside once inside
• wow
• that made very little sense
• what else is new
• I miss my sisters
• my bestie and her sweet girl are coming TODAY
• I am so freaking excited
• SNL Surprise??
• Anyone??
• My lips are dry, my knuckles are locked
• Two babies at the SAME TIME?
• It is on HULU
• You are welcome
• more dead armadillos
• thankfully not in the hay meadow
• just on the road
• turtles will be next
• I hate turtles
• they scare me
• especially big ones
• all dry and wrinkly
• I love lotion
• Katie has learned many things through her cancer trip
• the main one
• she NEVER wants to be a nurse or doctor
• but she loves hers
• things I have learned
• always carry an emesis bag
• look at that word
• it is fancy
• and never ever wear non-waterproof mascara
• if you could wouldn’t you want clean sheet day everyday?
• haven’t been sleeping well
• there is no good TV on at night
• ever listened to Coast to Coast AM?
• wow
• please do
• at your earliest convenience
• I have learned much about aliens
• and doomsday preparation
• and people in Arkansas.
• I love the news here in OK.
• I do.
• the weather guy wears a sparkly bedazzled tie when there is bad weather
• in LA the weather guy talks about Britney Spears.
• I have learned to LOVE thunderstorms
• our back yard floods
• Michael gets out a sump pump
• that is fun to say
• like francisco
• I cannot not wear make up anymore
• I feel old
• let’s get real
• I look old.
• I want to go on a vacation.
• I would love to go to Hawaii.
• but.
• That means bathing suits.
• remember the crackers?
• and the cellulite?
• never mind.
• I love cake batter.
• and cookie dough.
• maybe I am starting to see a reason for my fears
• of summer.
• RING PHONE
• this waiting for test results is killing me.
• so now
• I will go
• smash june bugs
• fold sheets
• and pray that whatever Maisy has in her mouth right now
• isn’t an armadillo
• um
• ew
• EW
• a turtle.
• Goodbye
• forever.
• or until tomorrow.